I have lacked inspiration the last couple of months. It isn't that I haven't been doing everything I've committed to. I'm walking and working, I'm eating a very very very appropriate amount and type of food for a woman who wants to lose weight. I've lost 13 lbs. I've lost a size. But somewhere in there...I lost inspirational words.
I'm not writing today because I found some inspiration either. I'm writing because I didn't and my Catholic guilt for neglecting this blog has kicked into high gear. Gotta love that guilt sometimes. It can kick me right in the behind and remind me to do something I've committed to. So, I'm back to blogging.
Here are things that I thought might be nuggets of inspiration that just never resulted in a blog entry:
1) My son Ben was extremely frustrated with his batting slump. So, I read the Tiger Mom article "Why Chinese mothers are superior" (I didn't have time to read her whole book) and told him I was going to go "Chinese Mother" on him. I'm driving him to private lessons, arm velocity and strengthening classes and nagging him to do his baseball workout just like I nag him to brush his teeth, do homework and wear clean underwear. Well - this weekend it paid off!!! Ben was hitting like a champ all weekend in the Metroplex Season Opener and even ended up being intentionally walked by the opposing team to avoid another big hit out of my little boy. I meant to blog about this decision....ask for advice....get opinions...but hell, I just did it... It has had some positive results, so my verdict is "Go Chinese Mother when you need to!"
2) Walking without eating right isn't enough. My (now 41) year old metabolism was not kicking it into high with just the walking. I continued to eat like I was 16 and my girth continued to stay the same. I finally decided on 2/1 to start eating in a way that I knew would shed the pounds. It is finally working!
3) Finding my mission statement. I know this is going to sound so completely corporate of me. But one of the things that kept demotivating me in finding myself again was the fact that I wasn't really sure what I was going after. I wanted to feel healthy...be a good role model to my kids....feel them being proud of me again and just feel good again. But, in attending a lecture that was about a completely different topic (how to talk to your kids about S-E-X) I found something I could use even in this aspect of my life. The speaker said that you need to create your "Banner statement"...now she was talking about creating a banner statement about S-E-X that you would use with your kids from day 1 to keep an open dialog with them. Her example was "It is something given to a man and woman in marriage that is designed by God." So, I thought I could apply the "banner statement" concept here. At first, I came up with mature and appropriate banner statements like "Good food in, good feelings out" and "your body is a temple of the Lord and should be treated as such". But I realized that a big root of my desire to do something about my weight/health were my 2 kids. So then my banner statement started to morph into "I am proud of my mom for being a good example of healthy eating." and "I want to grow up to be healthy just like Mom". But soon I realized that I wasn't being 100% true to myself. So, in reality, my banner statement is something more like, "Yep that's my mom...she's hot" Now, before you go running to pull out your parenting books on this, I'm not ACTUALLY sharing my banner statement with my kids, nor do I want them to think of me as "hot"!! But that is the closest thing to melding the different worlds of wanting my kids to be proud of me, learn to do the right things and me wanting to feel good about my looks!! I know...it needs work. Suggestions?
4) All work and no play makes for a really unhappy family. I'm trying to put play back into our lives. I miss playing. I miss just sitting down with a deck of cards and playing a game. I miss dancing in the living room to crazy 80's songs with my kids. I miss being spontaneous. I miss sitting down and doing something that is using the creative side of my brain. So....I know it isn't spontaneous, but I'm trying to start PUTTING fun intentionally back into our lives in the hope that it just catches on and we start doing it more naturally. This is that time of year when baseball season goes into high gear and we don't have a minute to spare. We rush from one activity to another, never stopping to smell the roses. Step 1: I rented a lakehouse for Spring Break. I still have to work all week, but at least I'll be doing it in a location that is more fun and I can hang with my family in the evenings.
I know this isn't inspirational...nor organized. Frankly, I keep thinking I should just hit delete. But that is the Type A in me coming out. I'm sending this...crappy as it is. I'm sending it. I just need to get back on the horse of blogging again!!!
